I am a Tool

[Fliptastic29]

I am a tool,
but what kind am I?
Am I a screw driver or am I a hammer or maybe I'm a wrench.

I could even be a all purpose tool,
a combination of the above,
Society has deemed it necesary i become a instrument for their likeing.

No matter what i want my circumstances determine what kind of tool i will become.

The screw driver,
made for the use of screwing in different kinds of screws whether they be philips head or flat.

The hammer,
Designated to pound nails into their place.

And the Wrench,
Put in society to make sure everything is tight and not loose,
always remember lefty loosey, righty tighty.
Righty tighty is what society wants,
the question is what should i do?
Should i be the hammer and bend nails?
Become a screwdriver and screw at an angle?
Or i could let loose all the nuts and watch them fall to the floor,
one by one.
WHo knows maybe I as the all purpose tool could confuse society,
Maybe the perplexed society would feel a sudden rush of euphoria and just except it's fate.
Or maybe it would deem me as a disaster and give up in it's cause to frame me into another clone in the revitalization of it's own cause.
All i know is that,
I AM A TOOL

[Fliptastic29]

I think this poem lacks a ending. And last lines seem to confuse the reader. But hopefully next time i can work past that. Guess that's what happens when you write without thinking.

[Hannibal]

Ok, I like the ideas in this poem, however I don't like the use of ideas in rhetorical questions to the reader.

i really like the peice, and i think in this peice the use of rhetorical questions lends itself to much better reading, than in say some of your other peices.

But again - they're not my "favorite" things... but some people find that if done tactfully they can fit in nicely.

I liked the peice for the most-part, but again, just the use of questions that kinda made me have a slight distaste for it.

Maybe instead of asking them as a question - state them as a statement. then move from there.... with further statements supporting that move, explaining it, or negating it ....
I dunno.

There are ways to "ask" the question, without actually phrasing it as a question though...

Anyone else have ideas?

[Fliptastic29]

I agree after i read it over it just seemed to lack "juice". I don't know but it does feel good just to write even if the piece is shitty. Cause these writers block i've had is taking over and i feel this emptiness inside, depressing.

[sarafina mable]

keep writing even if you don't like it, as long as it helps lift your writers block, good luck. as far as this piece, i like the metaphorical value of the "tool" in society but i agree that the questions take away from what this piece could become. i would suggest to remove the "maybe"s and puncuation, utilizing line breaks instead. tell the reader instead of asking, tell me what you would do and not what you could do. you have a lot of room to mess around with this b/c the ideas are good, just fuck it up and put it back together in a completely different order--and please, post the revision if you do this [img]smile.gif[/img]